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Crushes- The Beginning and the End…

What is a Crush?

“To have a crush (on someone)” is a light-hearted and slightly juvenile way to express a strong affection for someone. It is mostly used to talk about young people’s feelings and does not normally describe adult emotions.

A “crush” doesn’t have to be on a peer or someone of similar age. A young person can have a crush on an older (even a much older) celebrity or any other person. Also, a crush can often be one-sided, implying that the affection isn’t returned by the other person (referred to as “unrequited love”).

By using “crush” instead of some similar term, it implies that the feeling isn’t serious and is likely to be temporary. Of course, many young people will disagree with this, but that’s the nature of youthful crushes. No one should be ashamed of a crush, but they might be deeply embarrassed if talked about in front of them.

How young is “young” can vary widely by who is talking? At my age, I might use “crush” for anyone under 30 (Copied).

In most Youth groups today, boyfriend and girlfriend issues have become an epidemic. Once it starts and is not nipped in the bud, it spreads like wildfire, due to peer pressure. Over the years, as a youth pastor, I have seen the bad and the ugly sides of this seemingly harmless misadventure. I am yet to see the good side. More often than not, it all starts with a crush.

In extreme cases, the harvest of this prematurely triggered emotions was right inside the church. You must be kidding me if you think kissing, smooshing, exchange of love letters or even the final act of consummation does not happen in church. Though this is not limited to youths.

Now, this did not happen in the night club but right inside the church and the victims are our children. I know someone will say not mine. Guess what? Parents are always the last to know these things. Your kids are not as angelic as you think, I am sorry to say this but it’s the sad truth. We were once kids and we knew our escapades, even those of us brought up in the church. So what makes us think our children should be “Saints”?

We must all come to realize that our kids are capable of doing anything any other child out there is doing and must always maintain that sense of vulnerability. Don’t say it can’t happen! It can happen. Go on your knees and raise altars of prayers for those kids and watch over their souls. When you watch over their souls, most times even when you can’t point exactly to what it is, you will know when things start to fall apart.

Don’t take anything for granted, tell them about your mistakes, know their friends, and continue reinforcing the basic truths until they start saying your own is too much. Involve godly Uncles and Aunties in raising them, especially the ones they fear. Conduct random room searches and phone audits without prior notice. Pay surprise visits to them in school especially if they are on campus. Don’t ignore dreams or hunches you have about them. I have seen and heard things I am not permitted to discuss concerning church kids whose parents I know. Let’s just do our best and stay alert. God will do His own part. Amen!

Enough for the parents, we can only encourage ourselves. No one is a champion in the business of raising children including yours sincerely. Parenting is always a very sobering topic for me because the equation doesn’t seem to balance sometimes. There are a lot of unexplainable tragedies right from ancient times. Recalling the story of Amnon who had a crush on his sister and eventually had his way with her, then to Absalom who slept with his father’s wives in public glare.

The root cause of these tragedies was untamed emotions that went wild and eventually out of control.

The end of lust is always death and Amnon’s case wasn’t different. His untamed feelings towards his sister led to the premature death of the heir apparent to the throne of King David-A man whose dynasty was to be an everlasting one.

What a loss!

This young man had the world at his feet, a great future was awaiting him. Oh Amnon, a time was coming when you would have had the kingdom in your hands. You would have had access to all the beauties of the world. Solomon your brother had a thousand of them and to my knowledge, that record is still unbroken. You could have just waited, oh Prince of Israel. You followed your feelings and had your way. Then the feelings changed from love to hate and death came calling. You were deceived by your feelings. Princes pay a high price when they let their feelings mislead them.

Do you want to have sex? Wait until you are married, you will have more than enough. Don’t just do it and ask for forgiveness. No, no. You will be forgiven but the scar and ugly past will remain. Don’t just do it because it feels good, every sexual act is a soul tie that can damage your future marriage and family, if not properly handled. You also create more work for yourself in the future as you have a lot of things to undo when others are climbing to higher spiritual heights. Some people have gone on deliverances and counter deliverances as a result of one five-minute bout of ungodly sex and never seem to have fully recovered. For the sake of your future partner and children, don’t you think you should wait? Please consider, Brothers and Sisters!

Sons and daughters of Zion. Princes and Princesses determine how they act. They choose their responses based on God’s instructions as clearly stated in His word- “Thou Shalt not fornicate”.

The butterflies in your stomach and fast heartbeat when you see that boy or girl should not make you spin out of control from all that you know is the right thing to do. Every untimely move you make based on these feelings – the flatter, the toasting, the love letters, the bear hug, the smooshes, kissing, fondling and outright sex is robbing you of God’s best. It is killing you softly and slowly. And sometimes, like Amnon, untimely death becomes inevitable from STD’s or attempted abortions. Why die when you can live?

Good Day,
Noel Abdullahi
Your Best Crush (YBC)

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